I had been waiting ..... all day ....... for my Waring Pro Classic Blender, in chili red, a gift kindly bestowed upon me by the ex-ex-ex ....... (father of the children) and for which I was highly delighted and very excited to receive. Except I hadn't received it. It appears that the delivery company in question's delivery system can't process my address (three letters beginning with D....you know the one). This is not the first time this has happened, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the first person who's had a bit of their address drop off in the system, but oh the anger and frustration. And I really didn't want to shout at the poor Scottish lady on the other end of the line because I knew it really wasn't her fault. But I did sort of suggest that I'd taken an entire day off work to be in between 8 and 6 which wasn't strictly true as I was working from home. But I was preoccupied........
What moment of madness had possessed us to do this transaction on line?
"Get it online" he'd said, "it'll be easier, use my credit card and just order it."
Why? I live in London. I could walk to a well known department store in London's vibrant West End (albeit quite a long walk but I could...) and buy it. What made us think that ordering off the online was a good idea? So here I was, on day 2, waiting for my virtual present to get real.
And then you know what happened? The box arrived, I ripped it open and ....... the lid was chipped. I say the lid, it was the little, removable plastic bit that can be removed to allow one to drizzle olive oil while making mayonnaise, and I'm sure lots of other really useful things. It's chippedness didn't really affect the blender's capacity to blend but..... it was a ludicrously expensive piece of kit, bought not least for it's beauty and ability to double as an ornament as well as being an invaluable kitchen aid, so it needed to be whole. At least to start with.
And so ......... I re-packaged the Waring Pro Classic and embarked upon a relationship with Cathy, who appears to run/own/man the switchboard, of a department store in ....... Yorkshire. Yes, apparently I had gone all the way to Yorkshire to buy my blender. We got to know each other quite well me and Cathy, what with the checking and double checking to see if the plastic bit alone could travel without the rest of the blender from Yorkshire to London. It can't. And so the original rubbish one then had to be packed up and picked up by the rubbish delivery company and then it had to get all the way back up north and then a new one had to be redelivered all the way down south..............and now, the Waring Pro Classic Blender, in chili red, stands erect in my pink kitchen. And you know what? It's brilliant.
Top tip: Get back in the kitchen, men may come and go but the Waring Pro Classic Blender is guaranteed for life..........