Thursday, 13 August 2015

Reality bites.........

"I really hope this is being recorder," I screamed, spittle flecking in the phone, "because you need training."

To be fair this was my ...... ooh .... umpteenth call regarding the ongoing plight of my broadband and we hadn't even embarked on what would end as TVgate. I had, Dear Reader, decided to change my provider and yes I can hear the collective sigh and sucking of teeth of those who are wiser than I.

"Seamless?" I screeched, "Seamless..... I have an email and a text telling me I'm 'live' and you're telling me it has a 'hold' put on it but no one knows why? WHY?"

Of course I shall never do anything as rash and stupid again.

Finally, it was sorted and my harridan squawks paid off with months of free bills and financial remuneration (with great age comes ...... great complaining). Now all I have to do is master the remote control.......

"Root Canal!" I gasped, my throat constricting around the words, "Is it cos I am old?"
My wonderful dentist (an Iranian Robert Downey Jnr type....) peered over his mask, batted his long lashes and assured me it wasn't.

"How much?"
I still can't get my head around how much treatment costs despite being on the NHS.
"But it doesn't even hurt." I whispered.
He then issued me with instructions to get it sorted immediately despite my pleas.

"Cost my twice that," said my mate Dave, "and I'd have paid five times that to stop the pain, you're lucky, do it now."

And so, I have saved myself £18 a month by going through the hell of changing my provider but I haven't quite worked how many years it will take for these savings to pay my dentist. Someone up there is mocking me.

Top tip: Modern Family is quite possibly the best comedy show in the world and now I can watch it all day everyday!!


  1. I never change any of my providers, be it Broadband, TV, gas or electric !!!! I think that, in the long run, they all work out the same….. still, it was worth it for you to be able to watch Modern Family 24/7 !!!! …. and, wht do I know ?!!!!
    Having been in the dental industry, it always makes me laugh when people say that it doesn't even hurt ….. when it starts to hurt, it's often too late or more of a performance to put right. I think that money spent on your teeth is money well spent …… there is nothing better than your own teeth !!!! XXXX

  2. You have my total sympathy. Completely awful dealing with new things, supplier problems, learning how to work the new things ......

    Root canal are two words that have the power to inspire terror!
    Glad you can now watch your programme!

  3. "With great age comes great complaining.." That is so funny cuz it's true!

  4. Have you been hacking my phone? Because the first three graphs -- that's me.
    P.S. I'll see your Modern Family and raise you one Portlandia.

  5. We're going to have to change providers soon, the internet is going down multiple times a day. Oi!

    Jacqueline is right; my teeth were destroyed in an auto accident when I was 10-ish. Not once, in all those years, have I said " boy, am I glad I don't have my own teeth"!

  6. As granny used to say it goes around and it comes around :) I am sorry about the root canal though, but I can confirm they don't always have to hurt and are a good idea to get done.

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