Dancing barefoot.....

Back from a winter soujourn in France, I found I had far too many things going on in one week..... why does it always happen like that? Two birthday parties, gigs, a private view, I hit the ground running.....

.....and then I was dancing. Double Patti, can you believe it? First, chatting ..... or flirting frankly... with Andrew O'Hagan about her new book, M Train, and then rocking out the Roundhouse, a blinding gig by anyone's standards let alone at 68. If I have to explain the appeal of Patti Smith then you're never going to get it but if you are unfamiliar then do have some youtube time and enjoy. This week, I shall mainly be lying down.....

Top tip: Take the M Train with Patti Smith and be transported.

Dream on......

As the rain kicks in after a glorious weekend, it does seem to be time to pack away the fitflops and factor fifty. It didn't feel like we had much of a summer, especially as I manged to be away for 'the hottest day of the year'. Unbelievably, the sun actually shone on my birthday this year and as all August babies grow up to know, it is a very changeable month with many a birthday party or picnic or trip to the beach abandoned due to inclement weather, amidst howls of high winds and disgruntled children.

However, this year on my birthday I didn't cry because I didn't want to because the sun shone and we went to Margate. To Dreamlands to be precis, the fabulous, relaunched retro theme park with dodgems and a carousel. And a bar. And it was brilliant.

Here I feel I should declare an interest as it was my great great great grandfather, Lord George Sanger, the Victorian circus entrepreneur, who not only added the 'Lord' to his name and introduced the 3-ring circus but also started the Pleasure Gardens in Margate, which subsequently became Dreamlands.

High on excitement and sticky with candy-floss we walked across the sands in the sunshine to the Turner Contemporary gallery to enjoy the Grayson Perry show before nipping up the cemetery to say Hi to the dead rellies.  A fabulous day out in Margate.

Enjoying the last of the summer sun slightly closer to home this weekend, I went to a vintage fair in Bethnal Green and finally met the fabulous Vix vintagevixon.blogspot.co.uk ........ if you are not familiar with her brilliant blog check it out, always a ray of sunshine on even the dullest day.

Top tip: it's all about the conkers now, fill your draws and save your woolies from the moth!!

Getting a life......

The look of horror on my goddaughter's face said it all:
"But why not?" she whispered, confused and saddened at the same time.
All I'd said was, I don't do 'Bake Off'. Or 'Strictly' or 'X Factor'. Or 'Masterchef'.
So now it's out there. It's not that I don't do TV. I love TV. I love 'Nurse Jackie', 'Veep', 'Who Do You Think You Are', Graham Norton ...... Michael Portillo on a train to anywhere. 'Mad Men' could be my specialised subject. However, should I look blank when a friend says:
"Did you see Mary last night?"
I am bombarded with a million reasons why Sue Perkins is saving the human race, one soggy-bottom at a time. It's honestly not a judgement call. I'd fight for the right for you to watch it. I just don't love food shows. Or competitions. But don't get me wrong, I love cake. It's just that watching it makes me hungry.

It's the same with Facebook. I don't do that either and it makes people very mad. And I don't tweet. Or get Linkedin. Until recently that is, when in order to validate myself and prove I existed, so I could join something I subsequently didn't join, I had to link up. Overnight I became connected to hundreds of people, many of which I have never heard of and have nothing in common with.

Last week I went out to a performance at a local gallery. I saw someone I'd met where I'd worked last year. She knew the gallery Director and introduced me. She knew someone she thought I should meet who works in the same area as me. They also know a writer/artist I met a few years ago and really admire who is having a show next month and invited me to the private view.

Top tip: get linked in by going out. 

Reality bites.........

"I really hope this is being recorder," I screamed, spittle flecking in the phone, "because you need training."

To be fair this was my ...... ooh .... umpteenth call regarding the ongoing plight of my broadband and we hadn't even embarked on what would end as TVgate. I had, Dear Reader, decided to change my provider and yes I can hear the collective sigh and sucking of teeth of those who are wiser than I.

"Seamless?" I screeched, "Seamless..... I have an email and a text telling me I'm 'live' and you're telling me it has a 'hold' put on it but no one knows why? WHY?"

Of course I shall never do anything as rash and stupid again.

Finally, it was sorted and my harridan squawks paid off with months of free bills and financial remuneration (with great age comes ...... great complaining). Now all I have to do is master the remote control.......

"Root Canal!" I gasped, my throat constricting around the words, "Is it cos I am old?"
My wonderful dentist (an Iranian Robert Downey Jnr type....) peered over his mask, batted his long lashes and assured me it wasn't.

"How much?"
I still can't get my head around how much treatment costs despite being on the NHS.
"But it doesn't even hurt." I whispered.
He then issued me with instructions to get it sorted immediately despite my pleas.

"Cost my twice that," said my mate Dave, "and I'd have paid five times that to stop the pain, you're lucky, do it now."

And so, I have saved myself £18 a month by going through the hell of changing my provider but I haven't quite worked how many years it will take for these savings to pay my dentist. Someone up there is mocking me.

Top tip: Modern Family is quite possibly the best comedy show in the world and now I can watch it all day everyday!!

Surreality bites........

Farley Farm, home to Lee Miller and the surrealists.......

For those unfamiliar with Ms. Miller, she was, amongst other things, Man Ray's muse, a top model, a photographer and Vogue's war correspondent. But the whole story is even bigger, I shan't spoil it for you just go visit the intoxicating house and beautiful garden.....

....full of all sorts of interesting things......

... because she married Roland Penrose, the English surrealist painter and poet, and so all sorts of fabulous artists would come and hangout round their kitchen table and eat green chicken and blue mash and talk art.....utterly surreal.

Top tip: oh to be in England...... when the sun shines.