Ho Ho.....hum

The halls are decked.....with giant, tissue oh-so-on-trend paper balls......

the pies are baked.....

the cards are made....4 years at art college not wasted...... the tree is in.....

the chili jam.... homemade gift of choice....is done.

I've drunk mulled wine, sang carols, done the requisite charitable work, I've stuck cloves in an orange

and been wolf-whistled by a pack of Santas, but still, I'm not feeling it. Nope, nada, nothing, zilch.....the Christmas tree lights are on, but the festive spirit's not home........

Top tip: from Dickens....Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.....

We need to talk about Nigel......

….. Nigel Slater that is. I’ve been watching his show, Friday evenings on BBC1, his Kitchen Diaries. And I’m getting a bit obsessed. Ever since I read in his book: Real Food, that the best thing to do with a cold sausage is to eat it while wondering what to cook, I have been very fond of Nigel. I love his inventive recipies and top tips of what to do with leftovers and odd things uncooked, lurking in the fridge of the fruit bowl. I made his courgettes with pesto and am addicted: ribbons of courgette made with a peeler and tossed with homemade pesto that takes a few minutes to make. And his butternut squash soup where he turns the peel into oily chips, flavoured with rosemary and sea salt, is utterly delicious and eaten daily now. 

I added a lone green chili to one batch and drizzled it with chilli oil, some chopped chorizo to another and chunks of lemony, sauted courgette to another.

I want to eat all the dishes he makes, especially the chocolate and beetroot cake, a slice of which I enjoyed in Teacle & Co. in Hove. I can only watch the show if I’m actually eating otherwise he sends me starving hungy, scurrying to the kitchen for double portions of everything. He made a big pot of the soup and suggested the leftovers be used to make a squash risotto. So far I’ve never had any leftovers……..

Top tip: never watch a cookery show when hungry, that way lies madness.

Putting the freshness back.....

In an effort to improve my lot ……. and my home….. I have embarked on a house-cleaning program. By anyone’s standards, my cleaning abilities are not good and rarely put to the test: the Hoover fights back and my wipe always turns into a smear. When I was more gainfully employed I occasionally gave myself the luxury gift of a cleaner; a random 4 hours now and then to wrangle the dust-bunnies and unleash the Mr. Muscle. I have friends who employ cleaners so I usually sub-let one of theirs.

But now I have neither the money nor the justification for such luxuries. I hate cleaning so much I sometimes just paint over the dirt instead, as I have recently done with my hall because I found some un-used paint under the sink. However, I am not in a position to paint every room right now and so I broke the work-to-do, down into bite size jobs; one a day. Feeling rather pleased having ticked off bathroom window, my home now filled with the sweet scent of polish, I decided to reward myself with a cup of coffee. I used the coffee pot I was given by my now defunct employer, one of those Italian silver ones that screws together and sits on the hob. After awhile I began to wonder why it was taking so long. And what the smell was. Steam was emanating from the pot but no coffee was bubbling up. And something was definitely burning. Then I realised I had loaded it with coffee but forgotten the water. I tried to manoeuvre it from the gas but the black plastic handle fell off having melted. In an effort to stop the pot toppling over I burnt the tips of seven of my ten fingers, then had to wrestle it to the sink with a smouldering tea towel. I unscrewed it wearing oven-mitts and released the coffee grounds, turned to glowing embers. I’d made a mini-brazier. My home is now filled instead with the acrid scent of burnt coffee and plastic.

Top tip: forget the cleaning, go out for a coffee.