Friday, 8 October 2010

A girl's best friend..........

'Wow' I said, pointing at the diamond ring on the third finger of my girlfriend's left hand, 'You never mentioned ....'

'Oh no,' she said, 'It's not an engagement ring.'


'Well it is an engagement ring, but it's not mine. It's my Great Grandmother's.'

It was a beautiful, princess cut, several carat classic.

'And you're wearing it why?' I asked.

'Apparently,' she said, 'It's a bloke magnet.'

'Really?' I said, 'How so?'

My friend then went on to explain that wearing the ring suggested you were already desirable as someone desired you, also you could be flirtatious without being seen as a man-hungry-desperate-singleton, commitmentphobs would see you as a non-threatening flirtation and the adventurous viewed you as a challenge and ........ it's a waste of a finger not to use it, it looks pretty and made her feel loved; you're never alone with an engagement ring.

'But if you're not actually engaged,' I said, 'wouldn't that be starting things with a lie?'

'You look lovely tonight could be a lie and that's kick started many a romance.' Came the reply. She had a point. An imaginary fiance........ could this be the answer to the home-alone-unhappy-singles?

'Are you sure about this?' I asked, 'Fake engagements, is this what we're doing now?'

'Look,' she said, 'It works in the same way as little kids with a bloke are a babe magnet.'
She definitely had a point there. I remembered how my American ex had taken my son (not his ..... that's a whole other story) to the park on a bonding mission when he was about three and couldn't believe the reaction he'd had from the women he encountered. And one particular male friend of mine always used to take junior off to play football, when he was little, with the express purpose of meeting girls. They thought he was a kind, caring, non-threatening Dad and so would chat away with ease. If he liked them he would then explain that the little lad wasn't actually his, he was just helping out a single-mum, at which point he appeared to be even more kind and caring. Bingo! It is another one of those unfair gender laws that blokes with babies look cute and women with babies look...... like a liability. Hey-ho.

'What about a wedding ring?' I asked.

'No, no, no. Not married. Never married, just engaged.' she said, 'Don't rule out possibilities. Engagements can be easily broken off.'

It sounded like the beginning of a convoluted romcom.

'And it's not really a lie, I will be engaged.' she said, 'Eventually.'

So when is a lie not a lie? A longtime-married friend of mine has recently been flirting for England. She loves her husband and her two young children but 18 years is 18 years and she is, well...........bored. So she has been having an imaginary affair with a very real college she only sees randomly. He has a girlfriend she knows about, she has a husband he knows about. However, last time they had a drunken work related 'meeting' she told him she and her husband were having 'problems' to see how he'd take the news. He was very concerned. Result, now she and her husband are having the best sex they've had for years. Win win? Or playing with fire?

So, I don't know, I do have a beautiful engagement ring, three sparkly diamonds in a row, that belonged to my Grandmother, languishing in the bottom of my jewellery box. Maybe it's time to make use of the ring finger........

Top tip: wearing a beautiful ring can brighten any day......on any finger.


  1. Why not try it? A beautiful object like that should not be hidden in a box. Neither should you:)

  2. What a brilliant post, and oh, how it could slot so perfectly into chick lit or like you said, romcom. Hum, I'm just not sure I would feel comfortable doing it though, not becasue of deceiving the other but because I would feel pretty shit about myself for feeling I had to do it, if that makes sense, anyhow, I can so see how this works, but I know it's not for me, but yes, a beautiful diamond ring is welcome any day espcially one that sparkles in the sunlight!

  3. Dear Jo, I think you must wear your ring just because it's beautiful. And you never know what might happen! Hope all's good with you. See you for that drink soon? xx

  4. A perfect example of reverse psychology!

  5. Loved this... interesting points made all round. Definitely wear the ring - it sounds too beautiful not to and there is your excuse if it starts a conversation with a handsome man who admires it. And you! x

  6. Great piece, always wear the jewellery at any opportunity, but don't agree with flirting with a work colleague, in your head it's ok, but in reality you are dealing with someone else's feelings aren't you - what if he turns out to be a bunny boiler?